Prayer Warriors Saga Commentary
by Suckyficcommentary
Summary: This is my commentary for The Prayer Warriors Saga, written by a so-called Christian who gives all other Christians a bad name.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I said I'd do this fic, so here I am.**  
**For the record, though, I personally am Christian, and I try to keep an open mind. I am NOTHING like this guy, because that isn't what Christianity is about, not in the slightest. I believe you shouldn't hate people, especially for almost no reason, and I refuse to accept the crap that this guy accepts as Christianity. It's more like radical Islam, if you ask me, especially with the whole slaughtering nonbelievers part.**  
**And there's also the fact that his grammar and spelling is apparently horrendous, which would offend any self-respecting author such as myself.**  
Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Believer in Christ: Hello Jesus!

Jesus: Hello my son. **Sorry to break it to you, but I don't think that's Jesus you're talking to. In fact, you're probably only imagining you're talking to him.**

Believer in Christ: Am I saved by writing this story. **Nope. Bible says that you're only saved through pure faith, rather than the things you do. Nowhere does it say that writing a crappy fanfic about some twisted radical Republican version of Christianity will actually get you to heaven.**

Jesus: Yes my son.

Believer in Christ: Good. Now should I go hunt down those Satanists.

Jesus: Yes my son.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Bible, God does. I will not feel sorry for using Percy Jackson as it is evil and should not have a disclaimer. **I would sure like to tell Rick Riordan that. I'm sure he will sue your ass in seconds, and he would totally win.**

Being Together The Army

Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. -Proverbs 16:18

I am Jerry and I am a prayer warrior. I am a servent of the lord and will do anything to get rid of evil Gods. Lately the Satanic leader Percy Jackson **Hey! Don't diss Percy! And anyway, he's not Satanic. Just because it's not from the Bible, or doesn't have anything to do with it, doesn't mean it's Satanic.** has taken over much of the land, along with his Satanic Army and his girlfriend whore. **Annabeth's not a whore! **She has sex with other people just to get Satanic money.** Can money even be Satanic? I mean, it's only a means of payment for stuff.** That means that I have to get an army together of Christians, so that we can defeat the servents of Satan, and defeat his evil puppets, the false greek gods, who are in fact a lie created by Satan to poison peoples mind.

Take heed to thyself that thou be not snared by following them, after that they be destroyed from before thee; and that thou enquire not after their gods, saying, How did these nations serve their gods? even so will I do likewise. – Deuteronomy 12:30

"Hello my fellow Christian" I told Mary, who is named after Jesuss Mother. I and her **It's her and I, not I and her. You need to learn some grammar, dude.** are not dating, if you Satanic scum think that there is something Satanic going on. Hey, I wasn't saying anything. You were the one who brought it up. Methinks thou dost protest too much. We are dating, **But you just said you weren't dating! Jeez, make up your mind.** but we are not having Sex **What's with the random capitalization of the word "sex?"**until we get married. But because we are 15, it means that it is going to be while before we do such a thing. **I would certainly hope so.**

"Yes Jerry, how are you. Have you been doing the lords biddings?" she asked me. I nodded my head and then she took out the bible and we read the first Chapter of Genesis, which is about the the creation of the world. We talk about how God was so good that he was kind to create a great world as we live in.

"He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him. -Proverbs 18:13

Then we discuss about how Satan had poisoned the world by inventing false gods such as Zeus and Venus, who were sex gods **For the record, Zeus is the god of the skies and king of Mount Olympus. Although he can be a manwhore sometimes.** which is against the Ten commandments. **Like Satan gives a crap about the Ten Commandments.**

"I need an Army to defeat the evil leader Percy Jackson" I asked her. **Percy's not evil! He's awesome!** I wanted an army so that I could defeat this Satanist and his ungodly army. **Last time I checked, there was no devil-worshipping going on in the PJO series.** This is America which is a Christian nation, so Satanist, athesit, hindu, muslims, buddhist, and any other non-god fearing people, who worshiped false gods, should not be allowed in this God fearing Nation. **Actually, America is a country that supports freedom of religion. It even says in the First Constitutional Amendment that the government is not supposed to make laws that ban any kind of religion. Get your facts straight, Jerry Boy.** We must get rid of them, and make them slaves, **Slavery was banned with the passing of the 13th Amendment. Someone doesn't know anything about the Constitution, do they?** if they agree to being a fellow Christian. Once they truly believe in God and his son, Jesus, then would we release them to bring glory to God and his son. If they still did not believe, we would burn then, just as their fellow Satanist did when they refused to worship our lord Jesus Christ.** If you're looking for some Satanists to burn, I suggest you do us all a favor, Jerry Boy, and start with that one. *Points to Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way*** "I want to bring Glory to God"

Their bows also shall dash the young men to pieces; and they shall have no pity on the fruit of the womb; their eyes shall not spare children.-Isaiah 13:18

"Then I will show you my Christian friends. You will not find a ungodly one among them. There are as clean as you can get them"** Is it just me, or does that sound more like an advertisement for fish at a supermarket than someone talking about her friends? "Nice, fresh fish! They're as fresh as you can get them!"** she told me. She had a her hair tied back so that it would not get in her and not look like a Satanic whore. **Since when is it Satanic to wear your hair down? I do it all the time, and it's no big deal.** She also made sure that her skirt did not show any of her legs, or else it would be a sin for a man such as myself to look at it. **What are you anyway, Amish?**

And that was when I got message that a follower of the Satanic leader Percy Jackson. He was there to force people in believing in false gods that made their followers get naked and perform Satanic killings.** Must I repeat myself again? Percy isn't evil and Satanic! Not in the slightest!**

Also thou shalt not approach unto a woman to uncover her nakedness, as long as she is put apart for her uncleanness. -Leviticus 18:19

But the prophet, which shall presume to speak a word in my name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or that shall speak in the name of other gods, even that prophet shall die. -Deuteronomy 18:20

So I went down stair to face the false prophet. He was a believer in false nature gods, such as Pan, who is Satan in disguise. He had big Satanic horns, so that everyone that was Christian could tell that he was a Satanist. **Yes, 'cause all Satanists have big huge devil horns. They also wear a huge sign on their heads saying, "I'm a Satanist! I worship the devil 'cause he's way cooler than God!"** "Believe in my god Pan" said the Satyr. "I am Grover **Grover? Seriously? Do you realize how out of character this is for him, Thomas?** and I am servent of Pan and Satan, who are great gods. They are better then God and Jesus"

He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed. -Exodus 22:20

So to defeat this Satanic scum, me, Mary and one of her Christian friends that was there, her name was Ruth, prayed to God and our lord Jesus Christ, to bring down this false prophet. And behold, a group of locus came from the heavens and ate Grover alive. No part of his body, other then his guts and his brains, was left. No even his bones remained. **Poor Grover! What'd he ever do to you? He didn't deserve that, even if he is supposedly a Satanist!**

And the LORD said unto Moses, Stretch out thine hand over the land of Egypt for the locusts, that they may come up upon the land of Egypt, and eat every herb of the land, even all that the hail hath left. -Exodus 10:12

So we brought glory to God. We killed a sheep so that we can say thanks to God. **I didn't know animal sacrifice even existed anymore...** Then we went back church and prayed some more. We read the Bible and how Paul convert many people to God. Then Marys friends came and we made them members of the Order of the Prayer

Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their wives ravished. -Isaiah 13:16

Believers in Christ: Thank you for read this and I hope you have turn to the glory of God and his eternal son Jesus Christ, the greatest thing to ever happen to this earth. May all that read this be Jesus: You done me well son. Believer in Christ: Thank you my lord for giving me live **You mean life?** and allow me to write this. Amen.

**Well, first chapter down! A whole lot more chapters to go!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, so as you can see I'm back with another chapter!**

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Believer in Christ: The Holy One has return.

Christ Himself: Yes you have. **Wait, Thomas is supposed to be the Holy One now? I mean, I know he has this holier-than-thou attitude, but this is ridiculous. **You have been blessed.

Believer in Christ: And with this blessing I will rid the world demons.

Christ Himself: The unholy ones are thee, Theia47, SonnyGoten, ImagingThings and TheBratMan. **Wait, what?**

Believer in Christ: Thee have wage war on our lord Jesus Christ and must be ridden!

Chirst Himself: And Alistairlevi13 for serving the dark lord Satan!

Believer in Christ: May all these wevil ones burn in hell!** Dude, you're really condemning people just for criticizing your story? Low blow, Thomas, low blow. **Amen.

Christ Himself: Bless my son.

Believer in Christ: Thank you my lord! Amen and amen.

Defeating the Whore! **Nice title. *rolls eyes***

A prayer (speak it out load to be save, you unholy ones. If you do not do so, then to the depth of hell you unsaved souls will go forever!**Seriously, can you stop condemning people every five seconds?**): I believe in everyone that is spoken with this holy word, and will follow it so the full command, even ridding the world of those flithly atheist! Amen and amen! **That's not the version of it I've been told about in church.**

And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire. -Leviticus 21:9

And we met to plan a attack on those evil beings. We discussed their weakness, and their desires to turn the good Christian world away from our glorious one and only great god of all nation, our lord Jesus Christ (fear all you athiest, jewish, muslim, buddhist and all others that defy this great God that will punish you and send you to hell, where you will burn for in all eternal history, where your body will torn apart, and spread across a endless, lifeless land, where you will be eaten by all foul breast. **Am I the only one who now has a weird mental image of people being eaten by rabid boobs?**You will all be punish, all of you. God does not put up with such evil things with this God fearing nation. And that nation is not just America, but all of the world. This is Gods world! And you athiest must convert, pray for all your wrong doings, and believe that our lord Jesus Christ is the one and only true God! Amen). **You spent almost the whole paragraph telling people that they're going to hell... Don't you have anything better to do?**

So we decided that we will attack a rational study group,**What did they ever do to you? Besides be rational, of course. **for they work foul thins **I agree. Wheat Thins are foul and very, very evil. We should totally burn down all the Wheat Thin factories, 'cause God wants us to, right?**which the lord Jesus Christ forbid. **GOD FORBID WHEAT THINS! **We brought hundred of our most faithful servents to come along to see such Godful work! **Let's have a Wheat Thin burning party while we're at it!**

"All hail Stan" they yelled. **Stan? Who's Stan? I don't know anybody named Stan. And why are people praising him, anyway? Is he supposed to be some god or something?**We will serve the devil. We will corrupt the nation of God to bring everyone too hell, ***in Grammar Nazi mode* It's "to," not "too!" Learn some grammar, dude! **where they will will burn for in all eternal history, where their body will tourn apart, and spread across a endless, lifeless land, where they will be eaten by all foul breast. **Getting eaten by rabid boobs must be a really terrible punishment.**We must KILL GOD! GOD IS DEAD!" **You can't kill someone who's already dead. And you definitely can't kill God. **I was so dishearten by this comment that I want to rip the mans head of and fed it to the dog. **Brutal much?**

"Behold the greatest servent of the lord" I yelled to those foul things that call themselves people. **I'm still lost as to how a rational study group is evil. **"I have come to kill you all in the glory of our lord Jesus Christ".

"On behalf of our Satanic god Zeus, God of **The skies! **Whores, we will slain **That's in past tense! We're talking about the present! **you all. And we will send to hell!" said Clarisse La Rue, the leader of such an evil gang. **Okay, the thought of Clarisse being part of a gang actually isn't all that out there. **Mad as I could be, I ran towards her and sliced of her unholy, God-riding hair! **Once again yet another weird mental image just popped into my head, where some wig-looking thing is being given a piggyback ride by Jesus...**Her head rolled on the ground **You sliced off her hair, and her head comes off? How does that even work?**as the unbelievers scream. As the began to run we cached **Caught! **up to them and killed them all. We left the bodies to rot in the group, for they did not deserved to be buried. We left people to guard the bodies, to stop any of the unbelievers into getting them. **You are just cruel, Jerry Boy.**

The memory of the just is blessed: but the name of the wicked shall rot. -Proverbs 10:7

And we came across a temple that is a worship ground of the evil goddess Artemis, where she and her daughters kill holy lambs to the god of whores. And it made me sick! **And I came across a terrible, error-filled fanfic written by a so-called Christian who loves to do nothing more than condemn people and be a sexist pig. And it made me sick!**

"You must all be punish" I yelled to the sinners, the filth of the Godful world that our lord Jesus Christ rules over for eternal history, ever and ever, amen and amen! "You must boy **Don't you mean bow? **down to our God (the only truth that must be offered in this day and age) or witness the wrath of Jesus of Nazareth, who is the one and only true God! Amen. Commit!"

"We will never bowed down to your Godful kind, for we want to corrupt the youth and bring war upon the world. WE ARE THE CAUSE FOR EVERYTHING, INCLUDING WORLD WAR 1 AND 2, THE WAR IN IRAQ, AND THE VIETNAM WAR. **Because all REAL villains like to brag about being the reason for all the strife in the world, rather than pretend they're doing it for the good of the world. **WE WANT TO BRING SUFFERING TO EVERYONE! We will send every single God fearing Christian servents of the lord Jesus Christ to the death row! You will all be punished" said Annabeth, Zeus most famous whore! **I so wanna bash this guy for dissing Annabeth like that. Anyone with me? *raises pitchfork***

"All praise and glory to Jesus Christ, to whom I owe everything" I declared to the Dogful and Christian like world! **Well, I knew the world is full of dogs... You know what this reminds me of? That part in TLO where Percy was reading the prophecy out loud, and his dyslexia was bad enough that he read "gods" as "dogs". That was pretty funny, wasn't it?**

Annabeth laughed. "Those ways are old and tired. Our way is much better" she screamed.

"But at least our way works! Amen" I said to the Satanic and filthful whore. So I charged at her, grabbed her hair, and dragged her across the muddy and filthful road, where I got an axe and sliced her head open, and let all kinds of Godful worms eat her alive, letting none of her brain to survive. **How could you be so mean to Annabeth?**

THE WHORE WAS FINALLY DEAD! **SHE'S NOT A WHORE! **AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN!

And we had a holy party where we prayed to God and sang hymns of his greatness and glory. We did not drink, nor did we have sex, for that will make us look bad. **You're that worried about your reputation rather than being a good person? **We were Christians and did not live like those filthy Atheist that mush all die! Amen.

PS: Priest do not have sex, so the church is not in trouble. It is holy and will be obey by all people! **Oh, if only that were true.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yup, back once again! Thanks to Nori'sLilThief for the review!**

Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Believer in Christ: Who will burn in hell?** In an ideal world? You.**

Jesus Christ: Anyone that curse ye profits **Money? **such as you.

Believer in Christ: Yes, and this includes lazorboy96, JzeHampen, G.J. Forever and PorschePower911. You will burn in hell for mocking me.

Jesus Christ: I will make sure that this comes true. Amen. **Jesus ain't your bitch. **

We are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousness are as filthy rags. =Isaiah 64:6

A good new aroused to us today with death of the Satan being Osama Bin Laden. **One of the rare cases where people can actually agree... Though he was Muslim, not Satanist. **His death brought joy to all those that followed our ways. Mass murderers like him should never have been allowed to be born at all. **You can't know if your baby's going to be a mass murderer when they grow up. **His mother should have killed him at birth. **Not even pro-abortion people would agree with you on that. And anyway, Bin Laden's mother didn't know he'd end up the way he did. It's not her fault.**

And so we prayed that God will destroy all other Muslims for they are evil and must be ridden off, along with all the nonbelievers and sex addicts. **God wouldn't do that, not without some legitimate reason. God wants people to have a chance. **God and our lord Jesus Christ of Narrative will not let anyone like that enter their eternal kingdom, nor will they let them work across the holy earthen ground. God bless the United States of the Holy North American Continent and Precedent George Bush for leading this fight against evil. **Why am I not surprised he supports Bush?**

And the LORD plagued the people, because they made the calf, which Aaron made. =Exodus 32:35

And me and my girlfriend Mary, who is named after the Virgin Mary, who is also a virgin, waiting for me to marry her before we will have sex. **You know, you didn't have to add that little detail.**We went to our room to read from the bible. Our gave her a private lesson on the third book of John. Although it short, it has many valued lessons such as ignoring false teachers such as Diotrephes who went against the true message of the church. We shall not allow people like these to mislead us ever again.

I will remember his deeds which he doeth, prating against us with malicious words. =3 John 10

And then went into main hall and Percy Jackson was there. He stood very tall **I never imagined Percy being tall. I thought he was more average sized. **looking down at us like David and Goliath, when they fought a battle to decide the fate of Holy Israel (If do not support Israel then stop reading thing for you will go to hell anyway). **Can you please stop randomly deciding to tell people they'll go to hell?**

"Convert to the false Gods of the Greek** People of any given religion don't think their gods are false.** and to the unknown God foretold in the Holy Bible, in the book of Acts," he yielded. **Percy reads his Bible. Who knew?**

"You have made a deeply mistake by taking me on heathen. Now you will be published by being sent to the eternals flames of hell where you will be whipped for ever by Satan for being fooled by him in the first place for he is evil and God is the great eternal thing ever. The unknown you talk about in the Holy Bible which is in the book of Acts is in fact the good of Israel, the God of the Bible, and the father of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ. All the gods of Greek are actually the devil, Lord Satan, in disguise. It is you that has been fooled. It is not too late for you to repent and follow the ways of our lord Jesus Christ who died on the cross and was raised three days later. His death paid for the sins of everyone around the world and he wants to pay for your sins as well. We are all sinners. So repent and you will be saved. All you have to do say (speak it out load to be save, you unholy ones. If you do not do so, then to the depth of hell you unsaved souls will go forever!): I believe in everyone that is spoken with this holy word, and will follow it so the full command, even ridding the world of those filthy atheists! Amen and amen! **Did you literally copy and paste this from last chapter? **This is all you have to say," I told a bald speech. **Is that when someone makes a speech about being bald while showing off their shiny bald head?**

"No I will never. I will always fool you by worshiping a false set of gods, Zeus the bastard king, and will secret preying to the lord of the darkness, Satan himself," Percy Jackson said.

This gave me no choose but to charge at Percy Jackson kill, but he got away in a cloud of smoke cause by witchery.**Oh, I know! Harry Potter helped him!** And it was then that I realised something. There was a traitor and I was my task to find this tractor out. **What a traitor, huh, Jerry Boy? There's someone who's helping the farmer conspiracy, and that person is obviously hiding a tractor somewhere! He's EEEEEVVIIIIILLLL, and deserves to go to HELL!**

But Jesus said unto him, Judas, betrayest thou the Son of man with a kiss? =Luke 22:48

And so I told the Prayer Warriors a story. It was of Judas and him betraying of Jesus Christ, our lord and Saviour. I wanted to find a way to find the traitor but it was no good. So I went to bed very scared. I had to find the traitor. Amen.

Believer in Christ: You are all traitors for mocking me and God and his eternal right hand son in the kingdom of heaven.** I'm not mocking God or Jesus. Just you.**

Jesus Christ: Yes you are right, they are traitors and they will get a traitor punishment. They will be sent to the lowest parts of hell, where it is the hottest. It will be heat that will kill them. **Won't they technically be dead if they're already in hell? **Amen and amen.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Chapter 4  
How dare you mock me? Do you realise that if you do not follow the true path of Christ you will burn in gell! **I'm guessing burning in hair gel and being eaten by rabid boobs are what this guy thinks are two of the worst punishments that could possibly be received... **Repent now and you will be saved!  
Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life and only a few find it. =Matthew 7:13-14  
The passage I have just read is from the gospel of Matthew and tells us that most people will burn in hell, but a few true followers will cherish the treasures of heaven. I am only doing my job in warning those of the flames of hell that awaits them. As for Percy Jackson, is corrupting the minds of young innocent children as the satanic works of Harry Potter, where witches and wizards are allowed to still exist. **They're just books...** The church made sure things such as this would go away, but it seems as if it has returned. I am only protecting you for your own good. The Greek gods are just as bad as the satanic religions of today, where Buddhist priest with their false profits kill innocent people in aeroplane crashes. **Don't you mean Muslim? I thought Buddhism was all about peace... or something like that. **  
And so my friend asked me what types of music is the most evil. And I told them most music was evil. **Unless it preaches Jerry's message of eternal damnation to those who don't believe his ultra conservative Biblical Nazism.**But there were a few musicians for so called protectors of their ways.  
"Nirvana is the most evil band ever to walk the earth. Not only did they name after a satanic way of thought, but they cause the death of many innocent people, due to the suicide of the coward Jurk Cobain. Their music is too loud, ***snickers* Jerry's such a grandpa. Who says loud music will send you to Hell? **and they have evil Lyric such as 'God is gay' (God and Jesus Christ, my lord and savoury, **So Jesus is a delicious piece of meat now? I mean, you said he was savoury, and that sounds more to me like a word to describe a delicious piece of meat. Lol Meat Jesus. **please forgive me for what I have just said. Please don't send me to hell). This is offensive to God and his eternal Son. Kurt Cobain only realised that he was being controlled by Satan at the last moment, so he killed himself. But because that was a sin, and cause millions of children to do the same thing, **Well, I'm not very familiar with what happened after Kurt Cobain committed suicide, but if a bunch of teens decided to copy him for whatever reason, then it's their own damn fault. It wasn't like they didn't have a choice in the matter.** he is burning for eternality in hell. Do not one of the you listen to such evilness," I told them.  
"I will never listen to them ever again," said Ethan Nakamura, once a follower of Satan, now a reformer, repenting his sins, and now he will be going heaven. This is what happens when you repent. You will go to heaven. Why would anyone reject something like this? **Well, maybe it's because bigots like you make them want to have nothing to do with Christianity. That would make sense, right?**  
"Yes, and now another musicians that are bad is Green Day.** Green Day isn't all that bad. Though honestly I've only listened to their older songs.** They rejected Precedent George Bush **Why am I not surprised he supports Bush? **and support the evil Obama, the antichrist. **How do you even know if that's true or not? **And they rejected the holy war in the middle, **I wasn't aware there was a holy war. **which resulted in the death of Osama Bin Laden, one of the Satan's main servents, now binging in hell. **So people excessively overeat in Hell? Is that a sin, too? Well, to be fair, gluttony IS one of the seven deadly sins, so I guess that isn't too crazy. **And the reject Christ and called America an idiot.** Dude, that song was referring to the ignorance of Americans, and how people today often accept stuff without really knowing about it. ** Surely these beasts deserves to go to the depths of hel," I told them. They were all amazed at my wisdom. **What wisdom? I didn't find any wisdom in there. **Mary looked at me admirable. Still I was uncomfortable, for their was a traitor out there, waiting to kill me, and killing is bad, and is a sin against lord Jesus Christ. Killing a Christian is a sin. **Killing anyone is a sin (unless it's in self defense or something like that). **  
Now therefore, behold, the LORD hath put a lying spirit in the mouth of all the false prophets, and the LORD hath spoken evil concerning thee. =1 Kings 22:23  
And Thalia Grace came and repented in the main hall crying that she would not want to follow the ways of Satan. However, I did saw beyond her disgusting lies and stabbed her in her heart. And she died. If she was telling the truth she would die a Christians death, **And you would burn in hell, because you just said killing a Christian is a sin! **if she was lying, she would be burning the flames of the eternal hell.  
And then we practice the ways of sword, for we knew the time was soon coming where the final battle between us and the evil followers of Satan, Percy Jackson as their leader, would come and kill us all,** And restore order to the PJO universe, hopefully.** and we had to all be prepared incase this would happen, as if it did happen, we would all be dead and no one would be there to battle the eternal God** Isn't that a good thing if your enemies aren't around to fight against God?** and his only holey** Holey? Did he lose an ear like George Weasely did?** begotten son, lord and savior, Jesus Chris of Narrative, and all hope would be lost for all eternal, unless the traitor got to us first, then in which we would still be dead and the message of Jesus Christ, protector of all, would not be teach to all people of this holy earth, but instead full trapped to the ways of the evil lord Stan, for he will kill everyone on this earth, and killing is morally wrong, unless it is defending the faith. **Where does it say in the Bible that killing nonbelievers is a good thing? I mean, I know it says that in the Quran, but isn't this the Bible we're talking about?**  
Meanwhile, in the headquarters of Percy Jackson….  
"We must invade tonight in the glory of Zues, the false god of Satran. We must get rid of all the prayer warriors and turn the temple for their God, and lord and saviour Jedi Christ **Jesus is a Jedi? I didn't know that! Jesus uses the Force!** to a false god temple," he said.  
"Yes," said his slaves Bianca di Angelo, Nico di Angelo, Nico di Angelo, Bianca di Angelo **You put Nico and Bianca twice... **and Grover Underwood. **Didn't you already kill of Grover? **"We will do the biddings of Satan disguised as Satan."** Huh?**

To be continued…..  
See, people can be saved. All they have to do is admit to being a sinner, repent and become a true Christ, and not a false one, like the Church of England, who will burn in hell for their sins. Devoicing is a sin, **Devoice:To pronounce (a normally voiced sound) without vibration of the vocal chords so as to make it wholly or partly voiceless. I'm not exactly familiar with it, but I'm pretty sure something like that isn't mentioned in the Bible as being a sin...**and will be punished by being thrown into the flames of hell. Aman.**da! Sorry, I couldn't resist, since that's my name :)**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Chapter 5  
I have decided to go under my real name, that is Thomas Brown, for all those have booked me for my username BelieverInChrist. Although I am still living within Christ, I must be separate, for I still have things to do, like making you all believe in his holy name. **The way you are, you haven't been getting anywhere with that.**  
Also note, I am not a belieber, like other people are saying. I do not know you are getting stuff like that from but it is not true. I am a believer, not a belieber, what ever that is I do not know. **Hasn't anyone told you? They are very much the same thing! In fact, if you told people you're a true belieber, they'll respect you for sure and wil want to listen to you preach your message to them! *snickers, rubbing hands together evilly, then whispers to the readers* I am just so terrible, aren't I?**

I also like to note that I am not mocking Percy Jackson, I am just making note of the evilness that it is **NOT!**. Along with Harry Potter, The Golden Campus, and the Narnia series, **which was written by a CHRISTIAN!** it is the most evilness this world has ever seen, beside Stan that is. **Once again, they're just books.**  
I am also not a troll. **Suuuuuurrrrreeee you aren't. **A troll is a fantasy creative that only exist in fake books.** *stares* You mean you don't know the other meaning of the word "troll?" Seriously, do you not know the Internet at all?** As its not in the bible, it is not ture at all. **Dude, there are a lot of things in the world that aren't in the Bible. Doesn't mean they don't exist. A good example is the computer you're typing this crap on. **Do not bee fooled by lies such as that. All book aside from the holy bible, which is Latin for the book, are a lie. Remember that people.** Okay, I'll remember! Wait... What was I supposed to remember again?**  
I will also like to take note that I can speak Latin, such as this holy set of words: Ego vere fidelis in cuniculis. ** Google Translate gave me, "I am a true believer in the tunnels." Don't know what that's supposed to mean, but okay.**

And so the devil and Percy Jackson talked in private, in Percy Jackson private mansion in England, **Wait... Percy has a private mansion in England? I WANNA SEE IT! BETTER YET, I WANNA LIVE THERE WITH HIM!** for they allow satanic people to walk among us, (curse them all! Burn in hell buoy foul besets) for they needed to get away from all their evil followers, willing to do anything just to enter the heavenly gate of heaven just so that they can get this evil hands on the heavenly goods. And so the devil walked back and forward in the depths of hell, thinking the order he would give to his most devoted follower, Percy Jackson, who has now changed his name to Percy Judas, for it made more sense seeming that he was a traitor to the faith, for he had once believe in Christ our lord and salary, **Jesus is money, now? **but became corrupted as time went one.

"And what must we do to please you wicked one, dear lord and master of all that is evil, and against the godness of God!,"** Of course God has godness. He's God. Next thing I know, you'll be talking about Satan and all his Satan-ness.** Percy Judas told him. Satan had been in a bad mood today so he was really angry, as Percy Jackson had escaped from good hero Jerry that day, instead of killing him in the name of the dark lord Satan.  
"Thou shall kill Percy or you shall die yourself," he commanded him. So he bowed.  
"I will serve you for always as omg you live," Percy Jackson said.** Like, OMG, you're alive!**

(Because you are wondering why Jerry knows about the traitor, God warned him in his sleep the night before the attack).** Good to know.**  
"Now go kill him or I will bring wrath across you and your friend Grover,** who you killed in the very first chapter,** who I would be willing to have as a sacrifice instead. I will make you walk this earth wishing you had kill Jerry. Now go and kill. And also, I have palace a traitor among Jerry and his friend. I will not tell who the traitor is, but he will be the person that will tell you this word Deus mortuus. **God is dead. How original. And it's two words, not one word. **None of his follower will know what this means, but all you will do."  
And so he went out looking for Jerry and find him and kill, but first hind the traitor first.  
Dear God, forgive me for writing this chapter, and saying bad things about you, but I do knot **You do knots? What, are you a Boy Scout now? **mean it. I will also obey you and tell all people of the your wonderful, loving, dogful **Anyone else have a feeling that Thomas is dyslexic? **behaviour. Amen.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Chapter 6  
I know what a troll is. I looed it up on Conservapedia (God bless that holy website),** Is that even a real website? *checks Google* Yes, it is. And they have quite a bit to say about gays...** which is fare more reliable than the liberal Wikipedia. A troll is a creature, not someone that has two identity. If you are going by me having two names, BelieverInChrist (God bless that holy website) and Thomas Finn Brown, than yes, I am a troll. But I see no proof that a troll is what you say it is, and I believe Conservapedia more.** Of course you do...**  
And I am a true Christian. **Surrreee you are... **I am mot mocking it. I am being brutally honest. People must suffer painful deaths before they are rewarded with the treasures of heathen.** I thought heathens were bad.** Us Christian will suffer many playful deaths, **How is death playful? **but they will not be in vain, for wee will destroy all the nonbeleivbers. And I will also like to say, atheist feel nothing. **Atheists are just as human as Christians are. Even Satanists are human. And humans feel things.**They are being controlled by the devil so it is not sinful to get rid of them. **Once again, I'd like to point out that it is a sin to kill another human being, and religion should not be used to justify it.**  
And so Jerry went back to his room to teach Mary even more, but also about how a woman must behave, for we deceived that it was time for us to get married.** I thought you said you wouldn't get married for a while...** And so a explained to her that a wife must follow a man, even to his grave if need be. **What if the husband's an abusive drunk who beats the crap out of her? Or better yet, what if the husband is an evil bastard whose views she completely disagrees with and had no choice but to marry him? What then, Jerry Boy? **And I told her told plait her hare up for it was a offense to God and his holy eternal son Jesus Christy, our lord and savour. **If it's an ofense to God, then wouldn't you tell her NOT to do it?**  
And so we decided that we would get married in the weekend for it was Sunday and that was Gods day, and he will sorely blessed us. And we decided to wear white, both of us, for the color black was an evil colour and a offensive to Gog.** It's just a color! How is color evil?**  
And so Joey talked the gathering that had just been created, "Bow to false gods like Percy Jug **What's with all the random name changes? **has done and you will surely bun in heath, **Hear that, guys? We're going to bun in heath now! Whatever the hell that means...** for it is an offensive to God. They actually give good to their false gods, which is really offensive, such as to Zeus who married a whore Artimis. **Artemis isn't married to Zeus, first of all. Hera is. And second, Artemis isn't supposed to be a whore. She's an eternal maiden. You really need to learn Greek mythology, Jerry Boy. I would insist you do, except you would probably say that even knowing about it is offensive to God or something. **And although they claim to fight against the so called evil god (they are all evil, so don't worried about that) Hades, even if Zeus son Poseidon ***Facepalm* They're brothers, Jerry Boy. Don't talk about the Greek gods like you actually know anything about them, when it's obvious that you don't. **disagrees with that. How can we accept such a lie like as truth. I will not. The Bible is fare more simple, stating the you must believe in God or you burn in hell, how simple is that? **I believe it's a lot more than just that, actually. It's not just about believing, it's also about redemption, and at least trying to become a better person. It's about how no one's perfect, and that's why we need God. There's a lot of stuff you left out of that, you know. **The Bible is the most beliebable, simple, and convincing book ever. **If that was really the case, then there wouldn't be anyone around for you to condemn, Jerry Boy. **No matter how much J K Rowling can lie, **It's just a book. Calm your tits already. She didn't write the book for anything other than pure entertainment. S**he will never get a book better than the Bible, not matter how many people like his **HER **Books Hairy Potter and Percy Jackson, **The Percy Jackson books were written by Rick Riordan, dumbass. **whos book is based on him. The Bible is truth, there is not doubt about that." And they clapped for my speech for it was a great speech. ** I could probably pull a far better speech than that out of my ass.**  
And so Grober came tot he miami hall. And he said as a warning to me, "I will come to warn you of my brothers plain to kill. Convert to the false gods of a the greeks now or you will die a very gruesome death. Mahahahahaha. **At least he put in the goat bleating, which is entirely expected, since Grover's half goat.**"  
I was not plead at with Grover so I got his head and broke it, and then stabbed him in the heard, and pulled his eyes out. He lied there lifelessness. **Good thing he's just going to come back to life later on, anyway. **Suddenly, Percy Hanson **Once again, what's with all the random name changes? **came out of nowhere an attacked me for no reason why so ever. I was able to attack him in the throat, but he got away yet again. **Aww, Percy, why didn't you stay to finish him? **I decided that my task was to go after him and make sure he suffered.  
And so I got married to Mary **Married to Mary, lol. **and we went into our beds for the first time (I will not describe what happened for I do not want any atheist to get pleasure out of it and have an organism** An organism is a living being, and by that, I'm guessing he meant 'have a baby'. But how Jerry expects us to make babies while reading what will no doubt end up being a god-awful sex scene, I have no freaking clue.**). And then she tired to convince me not to go after Percy Judas, but I decided that my mind had been mad up, I was to kill Percy Jackson even if it killed me. **I hope that it not only kills you, but that somehow you epically fail and Percy doesn't die, either. Maybe he could use his awesome water powers to drown you or something like that. **I would die for God and his holy eternal Son Judas Christ, our lord and saviour.  
And so I went out there and walked to the mansion of Percy Jackson. I was hoeing **your garden? **to kill him. Amen.


	7. Chapter 7

**Once again, it's been a while since the last time I've updated, and I'm seriously sorry. Thank you guys for the amazing reviews, and I hope you enjoy the next part of this fic (well, my commentary on it, anyway. I don't really expect you to enjoy the fic itself).**

Chapter 7: Chapter 7  
I am not a troll **You probably are. **and I am being serious here, you must repent or burned in hell. Satan will disguise as anything to trick you to send yourself to hell. God does not sell people to hell, **Well, I would certainly hope so... **it is yourself that did it. Donut say anything wrong with this greatest story ever! **Sure, whatever you say, Thomas. Whatever you say.**  
And so Jerry went and talked to his follower, who Mary the Virgin was in the crown (I never had sex with her for it is unlawful to do so for being Virgin when you die will be better to be seen as when you are infront of God **Number one, you just said last chapter that you did it with your girlfriend- excuse me, _wife._ And second of all, you do realize that, in the book of Genesis, when God made Adam and Eve, he _did _tell them to, "be fruitful and multiply." And how the hell are people supposed to do that if they don't have sex?**). And he opened his moth: "Which laws are biding that these fools are following. Percy Jackson and his friend worship false demons in a vain attempt to defeat us. They are unlawful, unlike us who are. We the Best Borrow **Best Borrow? Is that like the rental company version of Best Buy? **church believe that the law should be biding to all. We believe also that freedom and library **Yeah, more libraries for the world! 'Cause books are awesome! I'm glad you acknowledged that, Jerry Boy. **should be given to all. I also believe in gum control. **I know, right? I do, too. It's such a pain in the ass when I'm just strolling around, minding my own business, and all of a sudden I find out I've just stepped in gum. Or when I sit down on a bench without realizing that there was a big ol' wad of gum there. It's really important that the police force at least try to enforce control over where people spit their gum out. I mean, some people should really learn to respect others and not make other people suffer for their laziness by leaving gum where people can get it stuck on their shoes, or any other article of clothing, for that matter.**

**Oh, wait... you meant GUN control?**  
"Of all laws that are important, it is the lawalty to hog that is important. **What's so important about a pig? **How can we live without God? He created us so that we could worship him deerly. He created the law so we must obey it all. To all those who follow wicket ways such ass Percy and his fools, who worship false Gods such as Zeus and Venus, **who are totally real and legit in their world... **who were mothers and lovers, ***Sputters* Mothers and.. lovers? What the hell is this? **such a sinful way. How could you worship these foul beasts, for they are sinful in the site of God.  
"And what about murder? We do not commit murder** Whatever happened to "Thou shall not lie?"**, but Percy Jackson does. He say he is battling beasts, but they are ture followers of God. **So, all the horrid monsters who were trying to turn poor Percy are actually good, and Percy is in the wrong simply for surviving and defending himself? What kind of screwed up logic is that? **How can we let people like this keep being alive? They should be rid of and sent to hell for punchiness. **I had no idea that having a tendency to randomly punch people in the face was bad enough to get you sent to hell... But then again, I suppose it is pretty bad. I mean, what did those poor people ever do to get socked in the face? Or anywhere else? Did they call you a tiny little pipsqueak or something? (BTW internet cookies to whoever got that random reference) **Murder is a sin, as told in the Bible, and so all the law must be obeyed. They are evil, but we are good for we do not murder people.** LIAR!** How can you deny that? If you deny that, you will be sent to hell.  
"And steeling is a crime for God says so in the Bible. God is the deniable trust and must be obeyed and followed under all cost, for breaking this law will be against Gods law. Even if a family is starving, if child is caught stealing, his hands must be cut off. **Really? I'm so glad that I don't live in your world, then. I don't think anyone deserves that bad of a punishment for something so petty. And anyway, that goes against the US Constitution, so good luck trying to pass a law like that in this country. **If lies, than their other hands must be cut off. Do not let sinners have the sight of day, **So, what you're saying is, everyone who's sinned shouldn't be allowed to see or something? Because I don't think God's planning on striking every single person in the world blind. And yes, I did say EVERYONE, because no one is perfect. Not even you, Jerry Boy, no matter how much you would like to think otherwise. We've all screwed up at some point. That's the whole point of Christianity in the first place.** for it is publishment of Godo  
"An lying is a sin, for God tells us so. Lying makes truthful seem like a lie. **Huh?** Lying can only leed to troubles, such as the Percy Jackson, who has sent a traitor to kill me (but I decided not to tell my followers yet of this, for the parrot could come out at any moment) is a lie to us all. Satan lies, therefore it is a sin. Satan sins, God does god. Lying should be published with stoning. **Thanks a lot! Now we have every reason to kill you, because you just condemmed yourself to death. *Grabs as many stones as can fit in hands* Come on, who's with me?**  
"And I end my speed to day with a prey for God: 'Prey for all the nonbelievers for they do not know what they are doing to us, let them see the way so that they can become unsinful people,** You don't become "unsinful," as you so put it. You're just forgiven, that's all. You're still human, after all. **if not they should be punished with flames of hurl. Believe at as a warning to you all for you must be published for all you sins for it is an offensive to Good. Believe it so and you will get a eternal life at the revelation that John forward telled in his epic work Resolution ***facepalms* IT'S CALLED REVELATIONS, DUMBASS!** (read it for answer in the after life, and the punishment of sinners, for it all is ture). And so it all ends', anen.  
Suddenly from my room came Mary (for I had lifted her there from the wonderful knight before **So you did screw her...**) cam out of my room and yelled…  
….."O god has given me a holey **Like Swiss cheese? **message for you to telly ***in best impression of a British accent* Oi, does anyone want to drink some tea and watch some telly with me? **you. I am pregnant!"** Oh dear God, a mini-Jerry Boy. As if this story weren't punishment enough...**


	8. Chapter 8

How dare you mock me! I am being honest to you all, if you do not repent, you will burn in hell. **And I'm being honest to you when I say that no one appreciates you telling them they're going to hell. **Without God and his holy eternal son Jesus Christ, then you will not the rewards of heaven and immortal life under God. I am not a troll and I never told I was a troll. **You are a troll and you always will be a troll.** You have all been mistaken. Satan lies to you all for he wants to drag you to the eternal flames of hell!

I tell you all, there are people that will not burn in hell! These people will not burn in hell, for they are been blessed in the ways of Christ: WolvesRule612, Fulcon, Cimh, Agent Aleu,** In other words, people insane enough to listen to you? Or praise your story?** the holy bwobble for he has supported me, and Lisas Hope, the new St Paul who turned away from sinful ways of being an atheist, but seeing the light and believe in the one true God and his son the Eternal Jesus, son of the only true God. **How do you know that for sure?** There are many more who will see the ways of heaven, but many will suffer the pains of hell for believing in a false lie, such as Mr Rowling **Dude, she's a woman**, who is a man because women should never be able to speak, **I'm so glad that I don't believe this garbage that he's spewing. If I did, then all my hopes and dreams would have been utterly destroyed in a second. Women shouldn't be able to speak? Well, guess what, you chauvinistic pig, GOD GAVE US WOMEN A VOICE, TOO! I doubt that He would have done that if He didn't want women to speak, am I right?** they must obey their husbands at all cost,** Once again, what if the husband is evil? And the woman had no choice but to marry him? Or better yet, what if he abuses her?** and if they do not have a husband, they should follow their father, for it is their father that brought them into the world, just like what God did in the Book of Genesis, which for all your uneducated Atheists **What makes you think Atheists are uneducated? Especially in regards to the Bible? Just because they don't believe in it doesn't mean they don't know about it.** is the first book in the Bible. You should read it, and you will understand the true love God gave to use by creating this world for us to live in. **If you want people to understand that, then you should probably show them love, too, and not constantly condemn them for not believing exactly what you believe in. Christianity is supposed to be about love, and it's people like you that turn people away from it.**

And as I talked to my followers about the evilness of Percy Jackson and his friends, Mary came out from my bedroom and told me that see was pregnant with a child. And I asked her what the sex was, for it was important to know. I wanted to have a son **I hope you have a daughter instead. No, wait, actually, I don't hope that. I can only imagine how you'll treat the poor girl just because she's female.**so that I could name him after myself, which is Thomas. **Guys, Thomas just officially declared this a self-insert fic.**

"Yes, it is a boy, so it will be named after you", she said. **Great, a Jerry Jr. Or Thomas Jr. Whatever.** I was very pleased. However, I was annoyed that she had spoken out of term for a women should wait to they are in private before they talk to their husband,** And I was under the impression that you believed women shouldn't be allowed to speak, period.** as what St Paul said in one of his epistles. "Women should be silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak", he said in the First Empties to the Corinthians, do you dare tell me that I know nothing about the Bible. I have read it many times, and I am an expert in it all. **Yet somehow you forgot the whole part about loving your enemies. Or people in general.**

And so she was made to go to her room, for she should rest, before the baby comes. Let her make clothes, for it is a job for women, and not for men. **Yeah, make all those guys who work in the clothing industry feel bad.** And so I taught even more to everyone, for they were interested in my wisdom, for I was very wise, like King Solomon, **No you're not. **of the same royal line as our Lord and Savour Jesus Christ, the only begotten son of the only God Jesus.

And suddenly, came then came Zeus with Percy Jackson, his false son** *facepalm* If we needed any more proof that Thomas never read the books. Or even watched the movies**. And they warned that they will attack us without remorse, and kill every one of us. And I said, be gone Satan for you is not welcome here, and so they want away.** They LISTENED to you?** And they went to their mansion to plan their next move.

And so I went to the church in the next town, for it was far away for them so know about Percy Jackson. And I warned them of their attack. And so it was agreed that I could stay there for a week, **If I were them, I wouldn't let you stay for a few minutes. **for I had to hide away from the traitor, who I knew was about to attack that week, for Percy Jackson told me so.** Why would the enemy tell you their plans? Isn't the whole point that you're caught unprepared?**

And then it was there that I realised who the traitor was. It was Ethan, for he had worshipped false gods, who were disguised as Satan. Once a Satanist, always a Satanist. He had lied, and not really repented. And So I decided to stay, and decided to leave after the week, for I needed to hide. And then it was decided that I would return to my followers and save them from the traitor. **Hopefully you die in the fight.**

And other people will be saved also, like Mel Gibson, for he put his woman in her place **You make it sound like women are possessions. But I guess that's not surprising, considering who this is. And I have no idea what you're talking about. **and for making a great movie about our lord and savvier Jesus Christ, and Christ Brown, for we both share the same surname, but not the same Christian name, and he also knows where to put his woman in her place. **Didn't Chris Brown... beat the _shit _out of Rihanna? *checks Internet* Yes, yes he did! See that, people? This guy actually condones abusing women! As if there wasn't enough reasons to hate this guy!**And there are many other people that cannot mention for I have very little room to say so, but I will say who they are in a latter chapter, for it well known that people will be saved from the fires of hell. But all nonbelievers must be punished. **Or shown the right way. That would be preferable, even for God. ESPECIALLY for God, according to the Bible.** Amen.


End file.
